Whenever we see a Ferrari pass by, or lay our eyes on a mansion, we secretly hope we had the lifestyle of the owner. Money, a lavish lifestyle and no problems. And its at the last one where we go wrong. No problems. No matter who you are or what you do, no matter where you live or where you go, you'll always face problems. From the most powerful man on the plant, the President of the United States, to the beggar with the small stature , we've all got something in our lives that pries on us and keeps us awake at night.
Being a person who loves helping others, I've learnt one thing over the years. One of the biggest problems in the world is disappointment. Disappointing yourself, the people around you, your family or friends or those who mean more than the world to you. The reason is I believe, is that the disappointment eats away at you. Its like cancer to be frank. It starts small and gets bigger and bigger and bigger till we cant handle it anymore.
Some of us learn to adapt to our problems. We work around them. We incorporate them into our lives and treat it like a normal everyday scenario. Others cry it out, let it live for a little while and in the end let it go finally. These two methods are fairly short termed. They last at maximum a day or so and then you go about living your life as if nothing happened. And its fine really, till the next problem arises. Then all the past starts re-surfacing. Little by little and one by one the problems start hatching from the eggs you forced them into.
Truth is, you haven't helped yourself. You buried your problems and they're now coming out. The reality is that you never tried addressing them properly, you just thought about them, and after a while let go. You threw the boomerang, and came back and hit you in the face. But even after this, people keep on going. They get back up, brush themselves and keep walking.
I can see the fake smile on their face, I can see the sorrow and the pain in their eyes. I understand them, I get where they are coming from. But that path leads down a single road. The brain is sophisticated beyond our imagination, but there is so much 8 pounds of meat can take before its hardware snaps. Some of us can take it more than others, but still, you'll reach a point of psychopath-ism. You'll come a single point where you start to lose it all. You either couldn't be damned anymore and accept it, or you let it take over you and let your problems make irrational decisions that you'll regret all your life.
Maybe your problems don't come back all at once. Maybe they take time, or maybe they just need that trigger, that one last straw or that one big thing that sets light to the hay. And here is where the spiraling starts. You start going into deep depression modes and you lose yourself in your sorrows. You start feeling bad. You start hating yourself for all the mistakes, and you blame yourself for whats going on in the world. You pick up the weight of the world along with yours on your fragile shoulders and off you go, because you need to make something right to cover up for all the wrong that's happening in your life. You feel like if you cant help yourself you have to help those around you. And that's the most positive spin on it.
Ill admit it, my life story in buried in each one of the things I've just talked about. I'm somewhere between broken and whole, and its not just me, a lot of those around me are the same. Somehow I believe those neck deep in problems attract others of their own 'kind'. But I've realised, going about everyday like nothings happened and everything's alright isn't the solution to the problem. We need to grow up and own up to these problems. We need to understand the severity of the matter, or else one day that damned boomerang is bound to come thrusting back and we wont have time to evade. Its up to us to salute our problems goodbye, wave at them as they pull away from our bodies and become separate identities. Its not up to the neighbors that we casually say hi to when we pass by, or the co-workers/best friends that we meet everyday, its to us. Its up to you and me to bury that horse in the ground.
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