The child inside me

I lay on my mother bed, my head buried into her arm and my knees tucked, and I made a baby noise and in her ear I said "mama!" like a little kid. Of course my mother got annoyed and therefore I was up for one of her legendary slaps. But it didn't really matter, because I was still going to keep on doing it.

Like or it not, some of us are still children trapped in adults bodies. There is a part of our childhood that we still hang on to. I still go crazy when I see balloons, I still eat with a small spoon, and I know for a fact that toy story 3 was watched mostly by older people who lived through toy stories 1 and 2. The reasons for this might vary from person to person, but I like to believe that there is a single straightforward reason to it. We hang onto a much better time.

We have seen those pictures that remind us of how simple and easy it was being a kid. Our biggest concern of the day was should I use the play in the sand or on the swing? Sadly, time flies, and the complexity of decisions gets bigger as the moments we call years pass. Its no longer how I should have fun, or at least its not just limited to that. Now it's "What do I want to be in my life?" or "What do I need to study?" or "Where do I need to study?", and of course there are a million other questions that we strive every single day looking for their answers.

There have been cases were people have actually grown up, perhaps even at a very young age, but I highly doubt there were like most of us. Pampered, given high quality treatment and seen as royal princes and princesses. I think that those who grow up fast, or rather grow up really, are those who faced a harsh time in their younger years as children, and their only escape was to become adults and grow up. Their childhood was in fact the worse part of their life, be it abusive parents, bad living conditions or being bullied at school, these people grow up and actually become adults because they have a reason to change. We on the other hand have no need to, because for us, those were the golden years.

Don't get me wrong, I have a sense of reality and I have a deep knowledge of the different forms of art, be it being a doctor, a businessman or a lawyer, and if someone were to slam a million dollars in my face, I would know what to do with them and I'd deal with them like a mature adult. I'd put on a suit, go to an investment firm, or a real estate firm and invest the money somewhere where it benefited me in both worlds, todays and tomorrows. I know how to make key decisions about my life, educationally and otherwise. There are very few decisions that my parents take for me, I'd like to think I have the mentality to think for myself.

There was a saying I once read that said "we never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public", and I can take an oath to verify that claim. Many of us don't grow up, we really do just learn how to act in public. We learn how be formal, we learn etiquette, we learn how to act based upon the surroundings that we in, but we don't grow up. Growing up is when I guess everything we learned becomes a fixed part of us and actually can be seen in our personality and these qualities define who we are. Even the most grown up people sometimes act stupid and do silly things.

Hanging onto our childhood makes some of feel safe and secure, and others feel like they have no care in this world. Some people do it becomes it makes them smile and reminds them that happiness does exist if we dig deep into ourselves, whatever the reason be, I can say that I don't want to grow up. I have learnt how my surroundings entails me to act, and I'm happy stopping at that. I'm happy that there is still a child trapped inside me because I know that whenever I feel low or I feel like having fun, I can bring out the child in me and not have a care in this world and just enjoy what I have, even for a moment. I'm happy that life won't wrap me up like a little hamburger and eat me, because I've doused myself with the salt of childhood.